About Me

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She writes simply to put her thoughts together.
Sometimes they're well-structured, sometimes they're in absolute mess.
But always, they're personal.

Ultimately, this is all for Him.

Wednesday, 27 July 2016

Celebrated Intention

Recently, I've noticed myself to be more and more inclined towards minimalism. It could be because one of my close friends preach minimalism a lot that I got affected, or that my housemates are all for it in leading their lives, or that I'm constantly in an overwhelmed state that my conscious mind wants other things to be as simple as possible. Either way, I believe that this is a healthy direction to go in terms of changing myself in preparation of the KL lifestyle I'm soon to face. Well, "change" might be a crude way to say it. When they say people change, there's always somewhat a tinge of negative connotation to it. I personally prefer the word "evolve". It sounds more........natural.

My graduation was a fine example of how Allah celebrates this evolution of mine. Being the only Malay graduating in the first ceremony of the graduation week at my uni, the spirit of graduation was only starting to warm up. The "suam-suam kuku" ambient allowed me to enjoy the company of my family and my truest friends who were genuinely happy for me. On that day, I received one little teddy bear, a couple of thoughtful gifts, absolutely no flowers at all, and had very few pictures taken (that's after pushing ourselves so hard because we were so tired from the event). Putting aside that I'm surrounded by people who are far from being publicly-announced sweet (lol), I was actually very happy and content. I may not get to be spoiled for being a graduand, but each gift I received (physical or not) was definitely the best I could ever ask for. There's this one hadith from the Prophet that promotes the giving of gifts to instill love in our hearts and purifying it. I admit that I am not the kind to give gifts but after being showered with so much love, I can definitely say that this hadith holds true. Funny how when you have very little, that's when your gratitude amplifies.

Of the books that I received. Both are splendid read indeed!.
The left book was actually from a gift exchange event.
But mashaAllah, they're both the right thing at the right time <3

I've witnessed how the 3 years of my stay in England made me evolve to a whole new person than I was before. Fresher, and hopefully better. I've come to like the fast-paced growth I experience here that the thought of returning back daunts me so much. But I have to swallow the fact painfully that this is not reality. My reality awaits me, 13-hour flight-journey from here. True that they say, 3 years in the UK is only a mere training ground for us to combat what lies deep in where we came from. May Allah grant us strength.

Monday, 4 July 2016

Happiness Shared

I don't usually make a big fuss out of birthdays, not even mine. But this year, I wanted to make it different. Don't know why. It could be because it marks the end of my study here in England (my student card is valid only up to my birth date this year), or that it signifies the end of my journey with my fellow comrades of 3 years. Either way, I decided that I want to do it the Western way i.e. throw my own party, inviting my dearest and closest friends.

The timing was just right. We just got our results and will be graduating with the degree that we've struggled for a good chunk of our life. All of us are in the midst of preparing ourselves for the next phase, in anticipation of achieving great things inshaAllah. Since my circle of friends consists of fellow introverts, it would come of no surprise if we lose contact of each other in the future. And I really want to show them that I appreciate the support that they gave to me, the time and space that we shared, and our togetherness in braving through the blood sweat and tears for this degree. Since I'm usually the cook amongst us, I've decided to cook one last round of feast for them - with the help of my sisters (biological and not hihi).

Of butter rice (not in the picture) and grilled chicken, mashed potato with gravy, and brownies with ice cream.
Basically a bit of everything!
*Sebenarnya nak habiskan stok makanan haha

The journey towards being 23 was really something else. I experienced the worst emotional and mental roller coaster than I ever had before. I lost grip of life and either gone mental or full autonomous mode. But no matter how much I feel like what I had was really bad, I'm sure it's not the worst - there's definitely going to be worse things to face in the future (haha talk about pessimism to the core). But it's alright. Humans are designed to be resilient towards adversity biiznillah.

Even so, I must say that I have achieved great things at the cost of my misery in the past one year as well. Perhaps of greatest height that I ever had - multiple, in fact. So really, I cannot complain though I awfully did. The world is never a perfect place to be - that's why we have to only strive for heaven. We win some, we lose some. But we (I) tend to focus only on the negatives when in fact, the positives outweigh them on a much larger scale. If there's anything I learned the hard way, is that I need to always always always count my blessings and never lose sight of His mercy at times of difficulty. And the latter was definitely my last string of hope when I was so near to asking "why me".

I finally felt that the UK is indeed a training ground towards equipping me in becoming a better person to serve in Malaysia. Special thanks to family and friends who provided endless support and never got bored of me asking for help over the same thing time and time again. I don't know how I can ever repay you guys but I do believe that there's nothing better than hoping that Allah rewards you with many goodness abundantly, to the point that He brings you to His jannah <3