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She writes simply to put her thoughts together.
Sometimes they're well-structured, sometimes they're in absolute mess.
But always, they're personal.

Ultimately, this is all for Him.

Thursday, 31 March 2016


"Somewhere, somewhat, somehow, we've lost the plot in this life. We've forgotten why we're here. We need to refocus before it's too late." 
- Mufti Ismail Menk

I was given the opportunity to become a spectator of this year's SCUK (Spring Camp UK) war game instead of being part of it (well, to become the one who provoked as well). The aim of the game was simple: find the treasure keeper of the opponent's team and kill her (literally just tear off the masking tape from that person's arm). But here's the catch. They were only given vague descriptions of who that person was, and highly likely that she would be in the innermost defense of the opponent's fortress.

Maybe because the game was done indoors (due to the very bad weather) and maybe because there was too much physical contact, the game turned very violent very quickly. A lot of injuries sprang up and a lot of feelings were hurt. The game which started from a very strategic killing turned into an emotional haywire. A lot of people expressed their resentment afterwards, telling us that the idea of this game in of itself is a wreck, destructive of everything that we have built up to the day before.

Little did they know, that it wasn't due to the game that was violent. It was they themselves that made it to be so.

And as a spectator, this was (and still is) what I get to reflect on.

We have this set aim to achieve in life. This one goal, which becomes our purpose of living. We've set everything in order, laid everything strategically, just so to achieve it. Later on, as we set to embark our journey, the messiness of life comes in. We got distracted, emotionally battered, and lost your way. In the midst of it all, all we want to do is curse whatever we think was the cause of the uneasiness, blaming everything else for our lack of achievement. When in fact, it was us who got tangled in the mess.

But what use is our curse and resentment, when the game can only be over when we've killed the treasure keeper? If we don't overcome all the opponent's defense and kill their keeper and win, they're going to come and kill ours and we'll lose.

Same goes, what use is our curse and resentment, when the game of life can only be over when we've reached our final destination? If we don't struggle to reach for Jannah, surely the Dunia would consume us and we'll fall into the pit of Hell. Nauzubillah.

We might not be fond of the idea of war, but life itself is a battlefield.

"Antunna ada matlamat. Fokus matlamat antunna." - Kak F

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